Week 3: “That was the sound of Fox News getting the fuck out of there.”

This week was a lot of this…


…and not much of this.


Monday: 5 mile trail run


Weekly total: 5 miles

TOTAL total: 39 miles


Makes me look like a lazy fuck, but whatever. That’s what happens when you drive 2,000 miles in three days. During the second half of the week, my bf flew into Salt Lake and we drove to Tennessee from Logan.


We took a pitstop in Cedar Rapids, IA on the way to see my ‘rents for a hot second. Which, as much as I dislike my hometown, was really great.

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We were chilling with my dad on Saturday night, and he asked if we were too tired to see a cover band. Umm, fuck yes please. Turns out they were CR-native band Slap ‘N Tickle and they do 80s hair metal covers.


It was basically perfect. The band members were all done up with fake wigs and animal print pattern spandex and their guitarists were really excellent. One of their wives was their biggest fan/merch seller/crowd-pumper-upper/percussionist and she got me to dance to Welcome to the Jungle up front.

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Anyways, this is supposed to be about my incredible outdoor exploits, not all the other awesome shit I get into.

My intentions for this week were better than reality. I meant to do a 3 miler on Thursday, but my left foot was kind of sore so I decided to nix that at the last minute. I had a stress fracture in that foot a few years ago from running in Vibrams too much, so I always watch that spot. Luckily, the soreness isn’t in the same spot but better safe than sorry because my body is fragile as shit.

I also wanted to get in a last hike in Logan Canyon before leaving, but that obviously didn’t fucking happen. The fire in my soul burns for the deep, green forests of the east, but I’m definitely developing a soft spot for the mountains. Which everyone told me would happen after moving out west.


There’s actually this thing called the Logan Vortex, which afflicts some of the grad students at USU. As much as we bitch about the town, it’s such a special place that it pulls people in and doesn’t let them leave. I can’t even imagine what it would be like if Logan were a normal college town; the town would be overrun with drunk, adventurous 20- and 30-somethings, frightening the Mormon populace away.

I’m, surprisingly, going to miss Utah this summer. I was so excited to get out and now I kind of want to be back there.

The one run I did this week was fucking excellent. It was on the same Riverside Nature Trail from a couple weeks ago but was run instead of hiked (i.e., slowly ambled). I went out  a little faster than I should have because I didn’t realize how much the heat would affect me. It was sunny and in the 70s, absolutely glorious, and my body was on point.

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There’s really nothing better.

Going to pick up the mileage to a semi-reasonable level this week. I need to get a better feel for the trails in Knoxville, so exploring will be had. One of my friends does a lot of trail running and he’ll probably be my best resource. I’m jonesing so hard to get outside and do something after being trapped in a car for three days.

And I proooooomise, more to myself than anyone else, that that fucking official rules post will go up this week. No more excuses, ya lazy bum.

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